Mental Fatigue is a Mother Fucker | step one is "Get it Out"

my fault = mental fatigue

When I write motherfucker, that ck, such a nice kick

A strong f f f leaves me flying, flexing, forcing fancy, that flip!

When moments reveal themselves finally, the why they exist

Spring from my lips, its grip reminds me to never verbally fuck with

Or to only fuck with since a perfect composite, but only until...

The pigs have fed, had their fill on words to create that false image

Real damage from lack of being able to truly manage

Self-regulation, self-care being general tools the population will use

For those who can't demonstrate, they hid, other rules they abide to

Lies that keep their words in another category altogether, a new lot

My words falter, the inability to spray danger danger when caught

Strangers in my vocabulary where a cup transforms to a spoon

Milk & honey are clearly not the same, now enter doom & gloom

Since if you can't get your words right, one's plume can ever resume

thisthisThisthis fear, anger, dread, sadness, depression, anxiety & suicidal inclinations connected to the question, "Why was I brought here?" For this? This being at the far end of a situation where acceptance is whatever someone decides but I said "I don't trust your decision-making ability anymore" so isn't that just saying, "NO!" over&over? To use one's most personal secrets & deny safety of body & mind on a daily basis is a ticking time bomb -- little kids imploding -- turned away & worse. Evil does exist & I'm ready to snuff it out. It will not rule my life anymore & that means making sure if forced to relive it, it's motivating, not immobilizing. I already questioned this after the worse tragedy for a child, the answer, "to be loved" sticks & that starts with self-love & ending with the one that is most needed, to you, the survivor/victim. This blog is trying to help move words in a different way, one that elevates the ability to talk & share, this being a skill and a way to communicate the worse because once you say the words, you're in control. The visuals words create are too jarring & scary so I've been hiding. I chant to keep moving forward & this sense of constant disconnect means I'm grabbing at anything that springs up just to hold onto something so I don't float away.

That needs is dwindling. I can speak about this & I see a future, that being to openly say to everyone who struggles with others in their lives who are not true supports to leave them at the curb & even better, to make them question where they went wrong--not a natural way of thinking for a reason--no one wants to be held responsible for anything they say or do & why I need a way to express exhaustion in that cognitve way since I am consent organizing & trying to remember what people say & do since the feelings, for me, speak louder than anything else.

this?live! Mental fatigue is when my brain starts caving in, to now, this is how trauma works. Bystander abuse is acceptable, to ignore/be ignorant indefensible, pretend "to care," already put their opinions and assumptions down & now? The way created a place to spew a little back someway, somehow. Hmpead injury or life expectancy is not what's troubling me : connect to words, told "too articulate" while being asked "to describe" be bold, already dealt with it. So which is it? You ick since I'm sick of it. This expertise, specialty, life experience confuse and cause more turmoil inside by the way it's applied, so mofos do not lie. Sums up the way this brain feels real nice, this need to "get it out" with breath - to heal - one must be able to express oneself - the darkest - others snuffed out the sun - that trust that light will shine again on everyone - to hope - true love that's a feeling I will never forget. That's the only way to be legit. TL : total light : sun : symbology : trust exists because it will always rise .